why I write

             I have had a hard time writing lately and it is frustrating me.  Normally writing is such a release but not today and not yesterday or the day before that or not every day before that for weeks now.     I’m blaming it on lack of inspiration, and also this incredibly critical place I’m in personally, in which I play a song on the piano and stop because it’s not how I want it to sound, and start scribbling down words and throw them out because I don’t enjoy them. 
                Yesterday when I got out of work, I went to the Stone Arch Bridge in Gilsum. I clambered down the cliffs to the river, dancing over granite and old bricks that had lost their sharp edges over years of riverbed existence.  The heat hung over New Hampshire like a massive curtain that was taken out of the dryer too soon, and I escaped its weight by letting the clear cold water envelop me.  I walked up the river towards the bridge, carefully placing my feet on the few moss-less rocks to keep myself from slipping into the current.  I halted at a sandbar, still as stone, and breathed in the magnificence of the woods, and the cliffs, and the water, and I wanted to be able to write about it so badly, so that you could breathe in the magnificence too. 
                And there I had the epiphany- this is why I will keep writing.  This is why I will keep writing even when odium is all I feel towards the sentences I string together.   I will keep writing, because if I do, there’s that chance that one day, merely by reading my words, you too will be able to feel the Ashuelot tumble over your toes as you stand beneath the Stone Arch Bridge in Gilsum on the first day of summer.  Until then, I will scribble and toss and backspace and keep trying.

lazy afternoons

Sunday we had a party at Tim's, drinking keg beer and playing badminton and staying up until 4 in the morning being silly.  Monday we slept in, then enjoyed homemade egg sandwiches before  heading to Sunset Lake in Harrisville for a swim (and fun on the swings!)  Erin and I went on a little walk exploring the pretty town lined with vine-covered brick houses and old mill buildings; eventually meandering to meet Dillon, Joel and Tim at the general store.  The boys had cucumber sodas waiting for us, which were strangely refreshing...

snapshots of daily life

Little things that make me smile:
- Fresh flowers on a sunlit windowsill in a clean apartment
- Training for a 50 mile ride I'd like to do in July
- A new jumpsuit perfect for summer barbeques and picnics in the park
- Adding records to my collection, and spending the muggy nighttimes listening to them

What has been making you smile lately?

photos taken with my iPhone

mint juleps and jazz on a hot sunday evening

On Sunday, Sarah and I had some of our closest friends over for a "Mad Men" cocktail party.  We placed out the linen and china, and filled my apartment to bursting with fresh cut flowers.  We had fake cigarettes, and playing cards, and a homemade advertising trivia game.  There was plenty of food, and we all munched on hors d'oeuvres including fondue, antipasto, sandwiches, bacon lettuce wraps, pigs in a blanket, and spinach pastries- and for dessert we served cake, brownies, chocolate dipped strawberries and blackberries, and pudding.  It was such a wonderful evening and well worth all the preparation.  Here are a few film photographs from the night- they were taken with a disposable and there wasn't much flash-use going on, but I still think two or three of them turned out rather lovely.

a charmed life

Goose Pond, Keene, New Hampshire

Don't you love when a weekend makes you so happy you don't even mind that it's Monday?

I woke up this morning on my couch, with records and empty cocktail glasses scattered around the living room.  Today my best friend, Sarah, moves to Rhode Island.  Friday night everyone showed up at the bar to drink one too many beers and give their goodbyes. 

On Saturday I spent the day in Dublin enjoying idyllic New Hampshire (there's a reason I live in this state).  It was one of those hot, sleepy days where you wish you could stop time because the sky is so blue and the sun is so warm and the water is so clear.  Dillon, Erin, Tim and I manned up and went swimming in Dublin Lake- the lake was so cold it stopped your heart, but once it started beating again, the water felt like heaven.  That night after I left work, Sarah came over and we planned our Mad Men party until the wee hours of the morning.  We pinned list after list to my bathroom door, made trivia cards, and set multiple alarms so that we didn't forget to wake up.  

Yesterday was a whirlwind.  Sarah and I started party preparations at 8am, which including robbing armfuls of fresh flowers from campus, spilling a bag of ice all over my kitchen, and lots and lots of baking.  We were so on schedule we even allowed ourselves thirty minutes to run down the trail to Goose Pond for a quick swim. 

The party was wonderful.  My apartment was full of my favorite faces, and seeing everyone dressed up made me realize what good-looking friends I have.  We drank Tom Collins' and mint juleps, ate fondue, snapped silly photos on disposable cameras and listened to jazz records.  After the last guest left,  I sat on my couch reflecting on everything.  The muggy midnight air floated through my open windows and fused with the sweet smell of the flowers scattering my apartment.  I breathed it in, and felt so lucky.  Saying goodbye to Sarah was very hard (I don't think I've ever cried so much saying goodbye to someone),  but I knew this weekend had been the perfect send-off. I grabbed a blanket and pillow, unplugged the twinkle lights, placed A Love Supreme on my record player and drifted off to sleep feeling very blessed and fortunate to know such lovely people.